Our Analytics 17 october — 18:40

Arif Mamadov needs to earn hundred euros... for sausages and Belgian waffles

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BY EYNULLA FATULLAYEV

On an overcast autumn day, a car rushes through the streets of Brussels in search of good luck. In an uncomfortable car seat, hunched over and firmly gripping the steering wheel, is the driver with a very familiar face. A well-known in Azerbaijan and now outside political person, former ambassador of Azerbaijan to the European Union, and then of OIC to EU, Arif Mammadov now earns on the side in Uber private transport company. Driver burrs and curses. Every day for him is as the last. It is necessary to earn his daily bread. After all, at home waiting for him are his wife and child, whom he once promised to conquer the world. Mirage! His whole life is one dispelled mirage.

Arif Mammadov - a man with a strange face

They say the ways of God are inscrutable. How to predict one's fate? Arif Mammadov is an epatage, bronzed and arrogant diplomat who broke into the information space not so much with repentance and calls for a national riot, as with pseudo-aristocratic tales about his trips to elite Brussels spas and Michelin restaurants... An ordinary graduate of Moscow military institute (informal GRU school), who was being prepared for work in Ethiopia, after an unexpected geopolitical catastrophe broke out - the collapse of the USSR - found himself on the outskirts of a large Soviet civilization. Arif Mammadov took the easy way: having betrayed his international duty in Ethiopia, dropping the old armour of a Slavophile GRU man, he returned to Baku and squeezed himself into the newborn diplomatic system. I still cannot understand how such a limited, foolish and reckless, if not comic character, as Arif Mamedov, could make a dizzying career in the Azerbaijani Foreign Ministry! How did he work and led the most important diplomatic missions in the European Union and the Council of Europe?

Arif Mammadov is somewhat reminiscent of another comic character - Abdurrahman Vezirov, a Soviet komsomol chief and diplomat who broke into political power on Olympus on the crest of Gorbachev's perestroika. They seem to be made from the same dough. Mimicry, gesticulation, pathology is kind of oligophrenic... And both proudly confessed to perfect betrayal. A few years ago, Arif Mammadov admitted that, while working in the Council of Europe, he leaked all official correspondence and directives from Baku to Secretary-General Thorbjørn Jagland. And Vezirov, who owed Heydar Aliyev his entire service career in the party system, led the most venomous accusatory campaign against the whole of Azerbaijan in the Gorbachev media. Unlike Vezirov, who set foot on the path of war against his own people, Arif Mammadov suffered a deafening fiasco at the beginning of his pseudo-political struggle. The tongue-tied oligophrenic, who by the will of fate was at the top of the diplomatic ladder, was not taken seriously even by the systemic opposition.

All these years, Arif Mammadov more and more resembled an occupant of a madhouse. Every day, announcing the creation of idle liberation movements, he conducted virtual demonstrations on the Internet, mocking in every way and attracting attention from the outside. At first, the most curious readers listened to strange Mammadov, who was promising to hoist the banner of liberated Azerbaijan on Freedom Square from day to day. It was somehow fascinatingly unusual, some kind of amazing curiosity in the crazy performance of the ambassador, who, strictly speaking, admitted to a betrayal. The ambassador, who became a traitor. And a traitor, eager to free his people from the ghostly yoke. But from day to day, from hour to hour, the paranoid revelations of the oligophrenic in shabby old suits of old diplomatic era were becoming more and more boring and caused no longer laughter but nausea. Arif Mamedov started to make people feel sick. He began to cause squeamish feelings, inspire disgust...

Years passed, and the European public lost interest in the Brussels wanderer. The Europeans realised that this is a superficial, failed man with a sick self-conceit, simply put, an ordinary fool. And the Movement for Democracy in Azerbaijan declared by him was confined to a private taxi cabin. The latest live videos from Mammadov come from his workplace: from a taxi. He turns on and begins to tell some kind of nonsense about the international situation - with mind-blowing geopolitical calculations and the pattern of the inevitable occupation expedition to Azerbaijan by the joint Pskov-Netherlands division. But then nostalgia comes, and then, in the intervals between taxi clients, Mammadov shares his photo archive: audiences with kings and presidents while he was in the diplomatic service. And of course, gourmet memories of past family trips to spas and Michelin restaurants...

Once Arif Mammadov had such a rest with his family

I still cannot understand how such a rogue could make a dizzying career in the Azerbaijani Foreign Ministry? After all, such as Arif, there are dozens, if not hundreds, who believed in their exclusive destiny, chosenness, mystical messianism! And what does fate do with them? Raises to heaven and with great force sheds down, smashing those bronzed statues to smithereens. What remains of these statues? Some fragments. Look into whom the all-powerful diplomat Mammadov turned. A fragment from a broken vase, a stub, a dirty cigarette butt on the streets of Brussels...

At the dawn of his career A. Mammadov in the palace of the Queen of the Netherlands

On a cloudy day, a car is racing through the streets of Brussels. Behind the windshield is the lost face of a former diplomat. He needs to earn a hundred euros... for sausages and Belgian waffles.

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