Our Analytics 30 june — 13:52

Not Secret Supper: 'Our job is to slander the government!' (Topical reflections)

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BY EYNULLA FATULLAYEV

How much more frank can it be? However, it is precisely this admission of one of the ideologists of the anti-government Fronde Ganimat Zahid that obliges us to ponder over the essence of those who long for power. The National Council continues to broadcast its mediocre revolutionary parties filled with bad oxymorons. A new series about the simulated delusions of opposition credibility has appeared on the Web. The silence of the tired horse of the National Council -- Jamil Hasanli -- is striking. As well as the absence of the leader of the revolution, Ali Karimli. But on air there are only comrades-in-arms of the leader who has sunk into oblivion.

The meeting participants unanimously propose a new demand to the authorities. Give 500 manats of compensation for quarantine! Oppositionists insist on increasing compensation for the COVID-19 regime. 'So that the nation understands and believes that our pure thoughts are about it and about it alone!" one of the oppositionists by the name of Akif beky is lying.

Not Secret Supper of the Karimli's 'Apostles'

Necessary digression

Phrase-mongering of these uncouth and unshaven persons brings back memories of the one-year rule of these beys. Although in Azerbaijan, as in the East, bey has always been not a form of address, but a feudal title, a rank. So, then, in 1992, impostor labourers, who seized power during the fateful battles for Karabakh by overthrowing the legitimate President, Ayaz Mutalibov, who was ready for dialogue, compromises and even nationwide consensus and consolidation, began to distribute ministerial posts and portfolios of officials solely by party affiliation and merit in overthrowing the president. One of the peasants, armed with class hatred of party nomenclature, seized the office of the head of executive authority in a central district of Baku. Comfortably seated in the leather chair of the head of a large district, this foul-smelling peasant, having smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in a matter of hours, left the office in hasty steps.

'Bey, are you leaving?' the pretty secretary, inherited from the partocrat, asked the bewildered young man .

'I need to call my mom in the village. I'm running to the telephone station right now.'

'Bey, you have a government connection at hand. You can call your mom from your office.'

As if with these words they sprinkled ashes on the head of the new Master. And the secretary in search of a communications apparatus entered the office and was horrified, not believing her eyes. It turns out that the new head was putting out cigarette butts on a Persian carpet, dirty with dirty boots of this peasant. From this day on, the new head gave up the habit of calling his mother from the station, as well as putting out dirty cigarettes on the expensive Persian carpet of the partocrat.

The whole history of the Popular Front recalls the story of the birth and life of Sharikov from the immortal novel of the classic

* * *

The people's memory has preserved many similar tragicomic stories about the reign of foul-smelling people with obscene faces and thoughts. All these stories have become parables all over the place for decades. And listening to the sincere conversations of the decrepit opposition -- these aged young beys, who had so liked the bureaucracy chairs for a short period of their rule a quarter century ago -- you understand that the essence, like the faces, and the thoughts of these people have not changed over all the decades that have been lost...

Rahim bey Hajiyev, the last Mohican, the editor-in-chief of the silent Azadlig newspaper, is trying to say something, as Ganimat Zahid rudely and familiarly interrupts him: 'You! Be silent!'

'Why should I be silent?' parries Rahim bey.

- I don't know, maybe you have crooked, cross-eyed or horn growing.

Pay attention to the tactlessness and humiliating tone of communication between the opposition among themselves. Ganimat Zahid accuses Rahim bey of idleness and parasitism.

'And by the way, with Aly bey, we are painstakingly working day and night,' Rahim bey says.

'I know how you work, sit on instant messengers,' Ganimat Zahid continues to accuse.

And at this crucial moment in the discussion of the country's urgent problems, 'the scarlet rose of the Azerbaijani revolution' Gultekin Hajibayli takes the floor. After leaving the ruling party for the Karimli papacy, comrade Hajiyeva did not fail to take advantage of the feudal title of 'bey' at the end of her modest surname. Although the ancestors of Gultekin are also from peasants.

And now, with the submission of Hajiyeva, a debate flares up around the main event of modern politics. Bald head of Rahim bey. 'He's bald. It does not suit him. Here's another thing: Vidadi bey. He’s cute,' Hajiyeva confesses her love for the justice general.

But the brave general (I still don't understand why Mirkamalov is called a general, because, according to the ranking table, our justice system simply doesn't have such a rank!) is flattered. The darling is beside himself from the sign of attention of the faded rose: 'That's it. I am pretty. Thank you!'

The stupid debate around the equally stupid bald head of Rahim bey annoy Ganimat bey Zahid, who wants to leave the virtual meeting of the Revolutionary Committee. Zahid openly says that he has more important matters than empty talk about the bald head of another bey. Zahid should be prepared for the new program of 'Azerbaijan Hour,' the program of a grey monotonous monologue of a journalist with a tired voice about idle weekdays. And here Rahim bey does not miss the opportunity to annoy his offender. Here is for the horns! Here is for the baldness! 'Ganimat bey, be correct when voicing numbers. You have a lot of mistakes in numbers and facts!' scumbag fiddles. Although he is not far from the truth: criticism of Ganimat bey is largely based on rumours and speculation, and sometimes on plums.

'Who cares?! Our main task is to slander the authorities,' the hypocrite frankly admits.

And these people with these values and principles, with this morality, want to become government. To extinguish cigarette butts, this time not on expensive Persian rugs, but on the state body itself.

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